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Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture--and What We Can Do about It, by Kate Harding
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Review
AV Club, 8/19/15"It's less depressing than it might sound, in part because of Harding's funny and occasionally sarcastic style, and for something so full of facts and figures, it's a pretty enthralling read. This book probably isn't going to get through the thick skulls of true rape apologists, but it is a good read if you keep hearing the term “rape culture” and don't really know what it means, or if you're enraged by the media that calls Patrick Kane a 'target' of a rape investigation instead of a 'subject' of one."Bitch Magazine, 9/2/15“Asking For It offers a smart, concise, and surprisingly funny contribution to the dialogue on patriarchy, misogyny, and rape.”Library Journal, 9/1/15“Harding's book serves as a welcome addition to the conversation…she doesn't mince words…meticulously documented…Harding writes with courage and passion that may rankle some readers—which might not be an entirely bad thing.”"Asking for It is a must-read for anyone who cares about ending sexual violence. Kate Harding takes on politicians, the media, and commonly held myths in a way that's accessible for antiviolence experts and novices alike. This is a timely and brilliant book that will put a much-needed dent in rape culture."—Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth and He's a Stud, She's a Slut"[A]n unflinching and nuanced map of a culture in crisis; Harding's singular voice makes it a page-turner. It's required reading for anyone who wants to know why there's so much fuss about rape culture these days, as well as for everyone who wants to do something about it."—Jaclyn Friedman, editor, Yes Means Yes Chicago Reader, 1/2/15“[Harding] has an amazing capacity for transforming her outrage into clear, considered arguments.”Bustle, 8/27/15“Harding skillfully breaks down the factors that have converged to create the United States' rape culture. Asking For It mixes statistics and research with true stories that show our flawed collective attitude toward sexual assault, resulting in a book that will leave you both outraged and inspired to make change happen.”Slate, 8/20/15"Asking for It serves as a useful reminder of why we still need books—even nonfiction books—in the age of the Internet. Just the sheer volume of stories and examples Harding collects in one place is disquieting and extremely convincing in a way that getting it in pieces through the day-to-day grind of Internet reading will never accomplish. Harding doesn't shy away from tough topics, especially when it comes to false rape reporting. To be clear, this book is not a chronicle of depressing stories of sexual assault, which would be a miserable read. Harding isn't here simply to register the existence of crime; she is working as a cultural critic, focusing on the cultural response to and understanding of sexual assault more than the crimes themselves. Luckily for the reader, Harding has a wicked sense of humor."Los Angeles Times, 8/23/15"Deft and timely... Informative and informal, the book is a smart, impassioned and well-researched agenda for a strictly no-nonsense understanding of rape culture."New York Journal of Books 8/25/15“Insightful and provocative book…Using news from current popular culture, as well as her own experiences, Harding has put together a no-holds-barred examination of the social phenomenon of rape culture…Everyone should read this book no matter their gender identification, sexual orientation, religious, or political beliefs….The book is written accessibly and intelligently, without hyperbole, and is a sincere work of scholarship no library or bookshelf should be without.”The Week, 10/9/15“Journalist Kate Harding, who possesses ‘a finely honed impatience with bull----,' has produced a valuable primer on sexual violence in America. It makes clear how rarely rapists are held accountable and how much damage is done by the popular beliefs that false rape accusations are common and that the line between consent and refusal is ambiguous. If the concept of ‘rape culture' baffles you, this is the book to read.”
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About the Author
Kate Harding is the coeditor of Nasty Women: Feminism, Resistance, and Revolution in Trump's America, coauthor of Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere and a contributor to The Book of Jezebel. The cohost of the Feminasty podcast, she lives in Florida.
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Product details
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books (August 25, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0738217026
ISBN-13: 978-0738217024
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.8 x 9.1 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
77 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#178,020 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
** Trigger warning for rape.**I’ve been a fan of Kate Harding’s ever since her days blogging at Shakespeare’s Sister (now Shakesville). I think I first caught wind of her latest project, ASKING FOR IT: THE ALARMING RISE OF RAPE CULTURE -- AND WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT, more than a year ago, and have spent the interim occasionally checking the book’s Amazon listing, where the publication date seemed to creep further and further away. And it’s no wonder: every month brings with it a new development in the national conversation about rape and rape culture.As Harding explains in the Author’s Note:"When I sold the proposal for this book in 2012, I foolishly agreed to finish the manuscript in six months, because my agent, editor, and I agreed that rape culture was having a moment, as it were. News of the Steubenville, Ohio, gang rape case was picking up steam, and the memory of Missouri Representative Todd Akin’s “legitimate rape†gaffe was fresh in all our minds. Sexual violence was suddenly a popular topic, but – based on national conversations about rape in the 1970s and 1990s that started strong and dissipated quickly – we feared that if we waited too long, this book might be released to a public that was already over it."The bad news is that it took me way longer than six months to finish the manuscript. The good news – amazingly, wonderful, really sort of mind-blowing news actually – is that years later, Americans are still walking seriously about rape and rape culture."ASKING FOR IT is a welcome addition to the conversation: smart, witty, and surprisingly enjoyable. Well, not enjoyable, exactly – that’s not quite right – but Harding’s sometimes-snarky tone and penchant for calling bulls*** as needed make for a slightly less depressing read.And there’s so much to feel disheartened about. Normally this is where, in a nonfiction book review, I might insert choice excerpts to represent the overall content and tone of the book. In this case: statistics concerning the prevalence of rape (at some point in their lives 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men will be raped; 98% of offenders are men; 64% of rapes are never reported, while only 12% lead to arrest); an especially egregious case of victim-blaming (the eleven-year-old Jane Doe from Cleveland, Texas, who was gang-raped and then likened by a defense attorney to a spider, luring his client the fly to certain doom); anti-rape campaigns gone horribly wrong (a 2006 ditty from the British Home Office features a prison rape “jokeâ€!); or scientific studies of law enforcement officers’ acceptance of rape culture myths (in one study, 28.8% of participants estimated that 50% or more of rape allegations were false – with some respondents putting the figure at 100%).But I don’t really want to do that here. Even choosing the examples cited above proved an exercise in indecision.My reluctance isn’t just because the book’s filled to bursting with surprising (or not, unless you’re an off-the-grid hermit) facts and eminently-quotable passages. Rather, the whole is so much greater than the sum of its parts, and I’d be doing it – and you – a disservice by pretending otherwise. In ASKING FOR IT, Harding masterfully dissects and interrogates rape culture, critiquing its various components and manifestations, sometimes even identifying unexpected connections. For example, abortion, online trolling, Gamergate, and revenge porn might not seem (at least to the casual observer) to have much – if anything – to do with sexual assault. Yet Harding shows how anti-abortion activists and politicians – and rapists themselves – use reproductive rights as a cudgel to control women and their bodies. Likewise, those who harass women from the comfort and anonymity of the internet often invoke the threat of rape to silence women, removing them – and their voices – from the public sphere.Though I no longer read feminist blogs with the same religious fervor as my early days on the ‘net (I slowly cycled from anger to depression to burnout), I still keep up with the news on social media, and I like to think I’m fairly well-informed with it comes to “women’s issues†like rape. (Scare quotes because labeling rape a women’s problem a) places the onus on women to stop it and b) helps to remove men from the conversation, when they should be at the epicenter, as Harding astutely notes. The way rape is reported, you’d think it’s a perpetratorless crime!) And while I did indeed recognize a number of cases cited by Harding – Steubenville, Bill Cosby, Emma Sulkowicz, Roman Polanski, Julian Assange*, the Central Park Five – a rather surprising minority proved news to me. (How did I manage to miss the whole Ben Roethlisberger catastrof***?) Likewise, while we’ve all heard the statistics about rape, the psychological/sociological research presented here is as informative as it is chilling.I also appreciate the light Harding shines on potential solutions, as promised in the second half of the book’s subtitle: “What We Can Do about Itâ€. Among these are successful education campaigns, undertaken by organizations, yet Harding also emphasizes the many ways that individuals can have an impact in their own lives, from taking to social media to shame companies, institutions, and artists into doing better, to challenging rape culture within your own social circles. (Dudes, we’re looking at you.)For younger readers, or those new to the topic, ASKING FOR IT is an accessible introduction to rape culture. In particular, I think it could be an excellent resource for parents who’d like to broach the subject with their teens, or for intro-level college courses (women’s studies, psychology, criminology). Academics and journalists may also find something new and stimulating here; like I said, Harding makes some exciting connections and observations. If nothing else, it may challenge you to see one or more aspects of rape culture from a different angle.Naturally, there are a few areas I wish Harding has spent more (or some) time on. While Harding approaches the topic with an intersectional focus – teasing out the ways that race, class, sexual orientation, sexual identity, and disability interact with misogyny vis-à-vis rape culture (for the accused as well as victims) – a discussion of the unique challenges faced by, say, trans women would have been welcome. Likewise, a dedicated section on campus rape by college athletes could have helped tease out the many threads that make up the vom-worthy tapestry that is rape culture, sitting as it does on the nexus of campus rape and celebrity. (It’s worth noting that journalist Andrea Grimes announced a book deal to address this very topic last August.) And while revenge porn and upskirt photos are mentioned in passing, both are forms of sexual assault that are slowly being recognized as the serious violations that they are (18 states now have laws on the books re: revenge porn) – making them ripe for discussion.* I cannot thank Harding enough for the (relatively) lengthy look at the Assange case. Liberal dudebros, c’mon! If the CIA really wanted to lock him up, why fabricate charges for the most under-reported, under-prosecuted, under-punished crime of, like, ever? Better to frame him for embezzling donations or a killing a pedestrian in a hit-and-run. Refusing to stop once a consensual sexual encounter became non-consensual? Yeesh. Most people don’t even consider that rape. Sad but true.** Full disclosure: I received a free electronic ARC for review through Edelweiss. **
The one missing element in this book on Rape Culture is the male perspective, from a man. Not what the rapist has to say, but what non-rapists have to say about why they're not speaking out. Why do they support those accused of rape? Why are women so beloved as mothers and so disposed as partners? What are the psychological triggers for a rapist and how can they be addressed? I would love to read a male response to this most necessary and powerful expose on Rape Culture.Also, I am curious to know how women who love their fathers, husbands and sons, to the point of protecting them in such a culture of rape and denial.
This was a very enlightening read. I learned so much from the sections on Male Rights Activists, Pick Up Artists, Trolls, and Gamergate. I think conservative-leaning people would have a hard time with this book, but it is very informative and gives a good foundation for understanding what we women deal with if you're not aware. I'd love to read a follow-up in the time of #metoo and Kavanaugh being confirmed.
FINALLY, a book that calls it like it is. Great purchase!
This book is amazing and well written. It really opened my eyes to rape culture in America and caused me to look at it in ways I hadn't before. I would say if you aren't a feminist after reading this book you will be after.
Excellent analysis, written with appropriately mordant humor.
Such an important read. Really shook me and I recommend it for EVERYONE
Good historical review, explaining a lot about why women are generally seen as "available" to any man. Highly discouraging looking forward, though.
Articulate, well documented treatise on the problems caused by a culture that promotes the idea of women as objects, possessions, prizes, toys, etc., that exist for men to pursue and use as they will. The glorification of this distorted idea of masculinity that men are more manly when they conquer and take, that they are entitled to sex with any woman who happens to strike their fancy, that they cannot help but give in to their sexual urges because after all they're men, that they bear no responsibility for their sexual actions, that submission whether achieved through drugs, alcohol, intimidation or physical force is the same as consent, and that it is totally dependent upon women to live so that they are never "guilty" of "provoking", "exciting", "enticing", "tempting", "seducing", or "bewitching" a male to do what just supposedly comes naturally, i.e. rape, puts women in danger and demeans men. And yet it is a narrative that many men and some women want to cling to like a drowning person to a lifesaver, while others are content to simply deny any problem exists. Ms Harding does an excellent job of presenting and supporting her case that there is indeed a problem and offers some suggestions as to how we can address it. I highly recommend this book.
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